2.1劳动教育 锤炼品质 案例分析.pptx

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1、(1 1)案例分析与点评案例分析与点评2.劳动教育劳动教育 锤炼品质锤炼品质名师指津阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。A MOTHERS DAY SURPRISE (2021年新高考卷)The twins were filled with excitement as they thought of the surprise they were planning for Mothers Day.How pleased and proud Mother would be when they brought her breakfast in bed.They

2、planned to make French toast and chicken porridge.They had watched their mother in the kitchen.There was nothing to it.Jenna and Jeff knew exactly what to do.名师指津一、重温真题一、重温真题 The big day came at last.The alarm rang at 6 a.m.The pair went down the stairs quietly to the kitchen.They decided to boil th

3、e porridge first.They put some rice into a pot of water and left it to boil while they made the French toast.Jeff broke two eggs into a plate and added in some milk.Jenna found the bread and put two slices into the egg mixture.Next,Jeff turned on the second stove burner to heat up the frying pan.名师指

4、津 Everything was going smoothly until Jeff started frying the bread.The pan was too hot and the bread turned black within seconds.Jenna threw the burnt piece into the sink and put in the other slice of bread.This time,she turned down the fire so it cooked nicely.Then Jeff noticed steam shooting out

5、of the pot and the lid starting to shake.The next minute,the porridge boiled over and put out the fire.Jenna panicked.名师指津Thankfully,Jeff stayed calm and turned off the gas quickly.But the store was a mess now.Jenna told Jeff to clean it up so they could continue to cook the rest of the porridge.But

6、 Jeffs hand touched the hot burner and he gave a cry of pain.Jenna made him put his hand in cold water.Then she caught the smell of burning.Oh dear!The piece of bread in the pan had turned black as well.名师指津注意：注意：1.续写词数应为续写词数应为150左右；左右；2.请按如下格式在相应位置作答。请按如下格式在相应位置作答。As the twins looked around them in

7、 disappointment,their father appeared._ The twins carried the breakfast upstairs and woke their mother up._ 名师指津1.故事情节故事情节 本文以两位小朋友为妈妈准备母亲节爱心早餐为主线，讲述了Jeff和Jenna因为不会做饭，所以在准备早饭时手忙脚乱。最后，在父亲的帮助下，他们成功做好了爱心早餐，给了妈妈节日的惊喜和爱。名师指津阅读文本分析阅读文本分析2.文本语料文本语料动作描写：动作描写：名师指津Jeff stayed calm and turned off the gas quick

8、ly.Jenna threw the burnt piece into the sink and put in the other slice of bread.Jeff broke two eggs into a plate and added in some milk.情感描写：情感描写：The twins were filled with excitement as they thought of the surprise they were planning for Mothers Day.心理描写心理描写：Jenna panicked.Jeff stayed calm and tur

9、ned off the gas quickly.名师指津3.续写悬念续写悬念双胞胎不会做早餐怎么办？双胞胎不会做早餐怎么办？谁能指导他们做早餐表达他们对妈妈的祝福呢谁能指导他们做早餐表达他们对妈妈的祝福呢？4.故事主题故事主题劳动教育和浓厚亲情。劳动教育和浓厚亲情。名师指津 第一段所给首句意思为：当双胞胎失望地环视第一段所给首句意思为：当双胞胎失望地环视四周的时候，他们的爸爸出现了。这句话和前文第四周的时候，他们的爸爸出现了。这句话和前文第二段最后一句的二段最后一句的“Oh dear!The piece of bread in the pan had turned black as well.

10、”相呼应。学生应描写相呼应。学生应描写作者是如何向爸爸讲述事情经过的，爸爸听完后的作者是如何向爸爸讲述事情经过的，爸爸听完后的反应以及如何启发并指导他们收拾厨房并重新制作反应以及如何启发并指导他们收拾厨房并重新制作早餐。在心理描写方面，可以描写双胞胎内心的忐早餐。在心理描写方面，可以描写双胞胎内心的忐忑不安和愧疚不已的心理状态。忑不安和愧疚不已的心理状态。名师指津写作思路点拨写作思路点拨本段最后一句应与第二段所给首句本段最后一句应与第二段所给首句“The twins carried the breakfast upstairs and woke their mother up.”相呼相呼应，他

11、们在爸爸的指导下成功制作出了爱心早餐。应，他们在爸爸的指导下成功制作出了爱心早餐。名师指津 第二段所给首句意思为：他们把早餐拿上楼，并第二段所给首句意思为：他们把早餐拿上楼，并叫醒了妈妈。这一段应围绕妈妈对孩子们由衷的赞赏叫醒了妈妈。这一段应围绕妈妈对孩子们由衷的赞赏展开，孩子们向妈妈坦白交代了一切，妈妈没有责怪展开，孩子们向妈妈坦白交代了一切，妈妈没有责怪他们，反而深受感动，非常喜欢并充分肯定孩子们自他们，反而深受感动，非常喜欢并充分肯定孩子们自己动手制作爱心早餐的举动。在心理描写方面，可以己动手制作爱心早餐的举动。在心理描写方面，可以侧重描写妈妈深受感动的心理状态。侧重描写妈妈深受感动的心

12、理状态。名师指津高分样卷点评高分样卷点评名师指津【得分】【得分】22分分【点评】【点评】内容真实、丰富，故事情节上和原文保持了较内容真实、丰富，故事情节上和原文保持了较高的契合度，对人物的设定很合理，并能根据情节发展高的契合度，对人物的设定很合理，并能根据情节发展需要进一步丰富细节，比如心理描写、动作描写等，使需要进一步丰富细节，比如心理描写、动作描写等，使人物设定和故事情节与前文融洽。第一段成功借助父亲人物设定和故事情节与前文融洽。第一段成功借助父亲的帮助完成了爱心早餐的制作；第二段孩子和妈妈的互的帮助完成了爱心早餐的制作；第二段孩子和妈妈的互动也描写得非常细致入微，结尾采用了哲理升华，让读

13、动也描写得非常细致入微，结尾采用了哲理升华，让读者印象深刻。者印象深刻。名师指津教师点评教师点评 写作中存在一些标点符号错误，如双引号应为写作中存在一些标点符号错误，如双引号应为“”而非而非；另外，第二段首句将；另外，第二段首句将Mothers Day写成了写成了Birthday。但是整体来看，语言驾驭能力强，表达方。但是整体来看，语言驾驭能力强，表达方式丰富多样，并能巧妙运用前文以及试卷其他素材中式丰富多样，并能巧妙运用前文以及试卷其他素材中的语言。整体来看，故事续写完整，人物描写到位，的语言。整体来看，故事续写完整，人物描写到位，内容丰富，内涵深刻。内容丰富，内涵深刻。(点评：深圳实验学校

14、高中部 曾丹)名师指津 As the twins looked around them in disappointment,their father appeared.His eyes widened in surprise at the sight of the mess and Jeffs swollen hand.“We were just trying to surprise Mom”Jenna whispered,her head hung low as tears started to well up in her eyes.名师指津下水作文下水作文The fathers hear

15、t was deeply touched,and he gently comforted the kids,saying,“Lets do it together,shall we?”The twins were so greatly relieved by his words that they quickly rolled up their sleeves to get to work.With their combined efforts,they managed to cook a delicious breakfast,and soon the delightful aroma fi

16、lled the kitchen.After everything was done,the twins exchanged a satisfied smile.名师指津 The twins carried the breakfast upstairs and woke their mother up.As soon as she laid eyes on the meal they had prepared,she was amazed.“You two did this for me?”she asked,and the twins beamed,nodding and joyfully

17、exclaiming,“Happy Mothers Day!”Hearing their heartfelt wishes,she spread her arms wide and hugged the two little ones,who,over her shoulder,exchanged a knowing glance with their father standing in the doorway,wearing a gentle smile.名师指津The cozy smell of the food and the sight of their mother relishi

18、ng it made them realize that this Mothers Day was especially memorable.Love doesnt need expensive gifts;simple,kind gestures are enough.名师指津deeply,quickly,joyfully,greatly,gently,in surprise2.高级句型：无灵主语高级句型：无灵主语 His eyes widened in surprise at the sight of the mess and Jeffs swollen hand.The cozy sme

19、ll of the food and the sight of their mother relishing it made them realize1.副词副词/介词修饰，彰显外功介词修饰，彰显外功名师指津文本句式点评文本句式点评3.高级句型：非谓语作状语高级句型：非谓语作状语+定语从句定语从句Hearing their heartfelt wishes,she spread her arms wide and hugged the two little ones,who,over her shoulder,exchanged a knowing glance with their fath

20、er standing in the doorway,wearing a gentle smile.4.高级句型：状语从句高级句型：状语从句The twins were so greatly relieved by his words that they quickly rolled up their sleeves to get to work.名师指津 5.高级句型：独立主格结构：高级句型：独立主格结构：Jenna whispered,her head hung low as tears started to well up in her eyes.(点评点评：深圳实验学校高中：深圳实验学校高中 部曾丹部曾丹)名师指津THANK YOU名师指津