新高考英语概要写作示例与写作训练 (9.docx

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1、概要写作示例与写作训练8【写作示例】【原文呈现】阅读下面短文，根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。No one would be willing to pay one-third of the price for the packaging or wrapping of what he or she purchases. But over-packaging has become a disease that leads to a massive waste of resources and contributes to environmental pollution in China.Be

2、hind this disease are some appalling figures. The wasted packaging materials are estimated to be worth about 280 billion yuan annually. And such packages and wrappings thrown away by customers make up half of the volume of solid waste in cities. And its percentage has been increasing. If the cost fo

3、r treating the solid waste is included, the money that has been wasted on over-packaging should be much higher.To produce paper packagings or wrappings, many more trees have to be cut down. But the packagings will then be thrown away by consumers. The same is true with plastic wrappings. Over-packag

4、ing also damage the interest of consumers when they have to spend quite a high percentage on something that they will have to throw into the dustbin.Product packaging and wrapping used to be very simple 30 years ago. Moon cakes were wrapped just in papers with a piece of red paper on top as trademar

5、k. Shabbyn was the word many had used to criticize the way Chinese products were packaged. And shabby packaging was condemned for making Chinese products unattractive in the international market.It is reasonable to pay enough attention to packaging or wrapping products in such a manner that they can

6、 be appealing to customers* eyes. But that does not definitely justify that packaging should even outshine what is inside.In the Chinese proverb, maidu huanzhu, the buyer returns the pearl and just keeps the case because the latter is too fancy and luxurious. The message from the proverb is that ove

7、r-packaging pain, and that life can be without resistance and struggle. For example, every time we have a zero-calorie drink, we are telling ourselves without our awareness that we dont have to work to get results.,讲述了人们认为减肥不用付出努力，节食产品从这两方面对我们的心理造成伤 害，所以第二段的主旨大意为First, we are tempted into paying mor

8、e attention to our physical weight than eating habits. People also tend to believe losing weight is effortless, thus causing psychological harm.”。第三段“Diet products may not be nutritional, and the chemical that go into diet products are potentially dangerous.”讲述了是因为节食产品可能没有营养，并且其中的化学成分可能有害， 所以会对我们的身体

9、造成伤害，所以第三段主旨大意为“Second, diet products bring about physical harm, for what they contain are not nutrients but potentially dangerous chemicals.”。最后一段号召我们戒掉节食产品，故主旨大意为“Accordingly, we should think twice before purchasing diet products and try to say goodbye to them.”2 .【参考范文】Football enjoys universal p

10、opularity with a history tracing back to Ancient China and its modern rules originating from Great Britain.（耍，点 l）Such popularity lies first in the simplicity and low cost of playing the game.（要点 2）Creative football skills and exciting game atmosphere also contribute to its popularity.（要点 3）Furtherm

11、ore, football is a means of communication beyond words, powerful enough to dissolve barriers and promote peace.（要点 4） Accordingly, football is more than just a sport.（要点 5）（71 words）【解析】这是一篇概要写作。写作步骤1）细读原文。首先要仔细阅读短文，掌握文章主旨。文章主要说明了足球的历史可以追 溯到古代中国，它的现代规则起源于英国。这种流行首先在于游戏的简单和低成本。创造性 的足球技巧和激动人心的比赛气氛也有助于它

12、的流行。此外，足球是一种超越语言的交流手 段，它足以消除障碍，促进和平。因此，足球不仅仅是一项运动。2）弄清结构，归纳段意。概要写作是写全文概要，不是写某一部分的概要，或者就某些 问题写出要点。因此一定要弄清文章结构，归纳文章各段大意。3）列出原文要点。分析原文的内容和结构，将内容分项扼要表述并注意在结构上的顺序。 在此基础上选出与文章主题密切相关的部分。3 .【参考范文1】Physical exercise plays a significant role in teenagers* fitness. Teenagers are advised to identify their fitne

13、ss level to design a health programme.（要点 1Overweight，inactive and active are the three levels of fitness that urge one to change his lifestyle.（耍/点 2） In addition to calorie-burning exercises that overweight teenagers should do, inactive and active teenagers are advised to exercise more due to thei

14、r strong bodies.（要点 3） Furthermore, intensive exercise is vital to injury-prevention while body-strengthening exercises help build up ones physical strength.（要点 4） （79 words）【参考范文2】Physical exercise is beneficial to teenagers* health. Teenagers are advised to figure out their fitness level and make

15、a plan to keep fit.（要点 1） There are three levels of physical states, namely nOverweightn, ,Inactive, and Active，which urge a change of lifestyle.（耍点 2） According to different fitness levels, experts suggest teenagers do calorie-burning exercises, bending and stretching exercises.（要点 3）Besides, inten

16、sive exercise and body-strengthening exercises are recommended to avoid injuries and build up ones strength.（要,点 4） （73 words）【解析】这是一篇概要写作。文章主要讲述了青少年健康水平的三种分类，以及每种水平的青少 年应该通过什么方式来保持健康。通读全文，我们可以从以下四个方面对文章进行总结：体育锻炼对青少年的健康非常重 要，所以青少年要了解自己的健康水平，并以此制定健康计划；超重、不活跃以及活跃是促 使一个人改变生活方式的三个水平；除了超重的青少年要进行燃烧卡路里的运动外

17、，不活跃 和活跃的青少年也被建议做更多锻炼来增强体质；止匕外，为了避免受伤以及增强体力，密集型锻炼和增强体质的锻炼是必需的。4 .【参考范文】Kong xiangdong, a classical pianist performed the classical music combined with Chinese folk music in his concert in order to bring Chinese folk music to the whole world, (para. 1) Influenced by his mom, Kong xiangdong learned to

18、 play the piano from an early age but his way to success is not an easy one. Due to his talent and great efforts, he became renowned worldwide by winning many great awards in competitions.(para.2)Years of performing classical music make him lose his own root and identity, so he turned to Chinese fol

19、k music. (para,3&4) Kong xiangdong is regarded as the pioneer in music for his new experiments with different music styles.(para.5)【解析】这是一篇概要写作。写作步骤1）细读原文。首先要仔细阅读短文，掌握文章主旨。文章主要介绍了古典钢琴家孔向东 在他的音乐会上表演了古典音乐与中国民族音乐的结合，目的是把中国民族音乐带到全世界。 在母亲的影响下，孔祥东从小就学会了弹钢琴，但他的成功之路并不容易。由于他的才华和 努力，他在比赛中赢得了许多大奖，蜚声世界。多年的古典音乐表

20、演让他失去了自己的根基 和身份，于是他转向了中国的民族音乐。孔祥东尝试了不同的音乐风格，被认为是音乐的先 驱。2）弄清结构，归纳段意。概要写作是写全文概要，不是写某一部分的概要，或者就某些 问题写出要点。因此一定要弄清文章结构，归纳文章各段大意。3）列出原文要点。分析原文的内容和结构，将内容分项扼要表述并注意在结构上的顺序。 在此基础上选出与文章主题密切相关的部分。5 .【参考范文】The year 2017 saw an improvement in sales of electric vehicles around the world. Supportive policies and co

21、st reductions will cause significant growth of electric cars in 2030, according to a new report. To reduce pressure on the environment, many countries have taken various measures to improve CO2 emissions standards. Although they use batteries rather than petrol and diesel fuel, electric vehicles are

22、 still controversial.【解析】对于内容概要型的写作题目，可以逐段总结段落大意，从中梳理文章的整体架构和论述 方式，继而整合出完整的内容概要。第一段主耍讲述了 2017年世界范围内电动汽车市场取得了显著的发展，可以写为：The year 2017 saw an improvement in sales of electric vehicles around the world o第二段主要讲述了国际能源署在报告中预测了电动汽车的前景非常乐观,相关的扶持政 策和成本的降低可以使得电动汽车到2030年取得显著发展，可以写为：Supportive policies and cost

23、 reductions will cause significant growth of electric cars in 2030, according to a new reporto第三段和第四段主要讲述了包括欧盟在内的多个国家和地区，都制定了碳排放的标准以 减少对环境的不利影响，而电动汽车尽管比较环保，仍然处于很大的争议之中。可以写为： To reduce pressure on the environment, many countries have taken various measures to improve CO2 emissions standards. Although

24、 they use batteries rather than petrol and diesel fuel, electric vehicles are still controversial.综合来看，本文就是围绕着电动汽车的发展现状和前景展开的一篇新闻报道，根据国际 能源署的报告，2017年电动汽车的发展迅猛，且未来的前景也非常乐观，节能减排是世界 范围内的大势所趋，但尽管如此，电动汽车仍然备受争议。这样将文章大意梳理清楚后，就 可以整合各段的大意写成最终的内容概要。helps cultivate an unhealthy consuming mentality to buy fancy

25、-looking stuff but not what they really need. This is also against the principle of frugality and sustainable development.【思维路径】核心内容本文是一篇议论文，全文共有六段。第一段提出了一个问题，即在中国，过度包装 (over-packaging)已经造成了消费者多余的开支以及给环境带来了大量的废物污染。第二段则 用数字进行了说明过度包装造成的巨大的财力损失及固体污染。第三段告诉我们为了生产更 多的包装纸，我们不得不砍伐更多的树木。第四段回顾了过度包装的历史缘由。第五段则表

26、 明了作者的态度，即包装不能掩盖货物本身的价值。第六段中，作者借“买梗还珠”这个成 语告诉我们,过度包装助长了不健康的消费理念，即只重货物外表，不在乎货物本身的价值。写作思路(1)抓住文章论点，理清论证关系。原文为议论文，第一段就提出了文章的论点，然后 第二、三两端是进一步通过数据等事实论证第一段中提出的要点。第四段引出历史事实，进 一步深入分析问题的起源。第五、六两段又进一步通过辩证分析的方式，表明作者的立场和 态度。(2)研读文中信息，灵活处理论据。论据是让论点使人更易接受的支持性的事实材料。 原文的第二、三两段就是通过数据进行摆事实、讲道理。而原文第四与第六段又引出历史与 文化传统里面关

27、于“包装”问题的看法。因而，在缩写的时候，我们就需要对论据进行适当 的安排与处理：既要注重数据事实，又要照顾到“历史事件”在论证中所起的作用。(3)确立文章主题，合理安排结构。原文第一段话首先表明了文章的中心论点，即 “ Over-packaging has become a disease that leads to a massive waste of resources and contributes to environmental pollution in China(要点1)；第二段用数据证明事实证明了文章的中心，即 u Over-packaging has waste too m

28、uch money on the packages and on the treatment of the solid waste (要点2)；第三段又进一步指出了过度包装的另一个危害，即“To produce paper packagings or wrappings, many more trees have to be cut down (要点 3)；第四段回顾了人们 之所以耍过度包装的历史原因，即 uShabby packaging was condemned for making Chinese products unattractive in the international m

29、arket（要点 4）；第五段表达了作者对过度包装的 态度，即Packaging should not outshine what is inside” （要点 5）；在第六段中，作者借“买 梗还珠”这个成语故事，表明了文章的结论，即“Over-packaging helps cultivate an unhealthy consuming mentality（要点6）。通过以上分析，我们可以发现原文的论述结构：提出论点（要 点1）-论据论证（要点2、3）-回顾历史（要点4）表明态度（要点5）得出结论（要点6）。那 么在缩写的时候，我们就必须首先确定采取何种表达顺序，完成对原文中心的表述。参考

30、范文Shabby packaging was once criticized for making Chinese products unattractive in the international market（要点 4）, but now over-packaging has caused an increase of environmental pollution（要点 1）, let alone a huge waste of money on the packages and the treatment of the solid waste（要点 2）, and many more

31、 trees being cut down for the packages（耍点 3）. Besides, over-packaging helps cultivate an unhealthy consuming mentality（要点 6）. So, please remember that packaging should not outshine what is inside（要点 5）.（75 words）范文解析范文把要点4放在缩写的开头，首先交代了过度包装的历史缘由，然后整合要点1,从 而引出本文的中心论点。之后，范文的第一句又用一个衔接词let alone把作为分论点（论据

32、） 的要点2、3也整合在一个句子里面，这样就使得表述更加紧凑。然后，范文又把作为结论 的要点6作为另一个论述的核心，并且用衔接词besides实现了与前文的连贯一致的表达。 范文最后用so引出作者对过度包装的态度（要点5）,并结束了文章的缩写。这种安排显得自 然而又流畅。提炼归纳1、关注对论述中心的提炼。议论文一般会在行文中表现出极强的观点或、态度或个人 倾向，所以在通读全文的过程中，需要首先抓住文章的中心论点、论据以及各个部分之间的 层次关系。同时，也必须关注作者的论述方法及写作特点。2、强调论述的连贯一致性。由于议论文中有鲜明的观点或个人倾向性的表达，而且 有时作者的写作又不一定是按照常规

33、的方法进行，因而在缩写的时候，我们就需要分清事实、 论据与论点，以及各个部分之间的逻辑关系，从而实现意义表达的连贯性。例如，范文对耍 点4与要点5的处理就是处于对表述时的意义连贯的考虑。【写作演练】Diet Coke, diet Pepsi, diet pills, no-fat diet, vegetable diet.We are surrounded by the word” dietn everywhere we look and listen. We have so easily been attracted by the promise and potential of diet

34、products that we have stopped thinking about what diet products are doing to us. We are paying for products that harm us psychologically and physically.Diet products significantly weaken us psychologically. On one level, influenced by diet products, people tend to watch their weight rather than thei

35、r diet. Diet products make us Jump over the thinking stage and go straight for the scale（秤）instead. All we have to do is to recognize the word dietH in food labels in the supermarket. On another level, diet products make people believe that gain comes without pain, and that life can be without resis

36、tance and struggle. For example, every time we have a zero-calorie drink, we are telling ourselves without our awareness that we dont have to work to get results.The danger of diet products lies not only in the psychological effects they have on us, but also in the physical harm that they cause. Die

37、t foods can indirectly harm our bodies because consuming them instead of healthy foods means we are preventing our bodies from having basic nutrients. Diet foods and diet pills contain zero calorie only because the diet industry has created chemicals to produce these wonder products. Diet products m

38、ay not be nutritional, and the chemical that go into diet products are potentially dangerous.Now that we are aware of the effects that diet products have on us, it is time to seriously think about buying them. Losing weight lies in the power of minds, not in the power of chemicals. Once we realize t

39、his, we will be much better able to resist diet products, and therefore prevent the potential harm that comes from using them.These days, football is one of the most popular sports in the world. Given that Neil Armstrong wanted to take a football to the Moon, we could even say that it is also the mo

40、st popular sport out of this world! The history of the game goes back over two thousand years to Ancient China. It was then known as cuju(kick ball), a game using a ball of animal skins with hair inside. Goals were hung in the air. Football as we know it today started in Great Britain, where the gam

41、e was given new rules.That football is such a simple game to play is perhaps the basis of its popularity. It is also a game that is very cheap to play. You dont need expensive equipment; even the ball doesnt have to cost much money. All over the world you can see kids playing to their hearts content

42、 with a ball made of plastic bags; just like Pele did when he was a boy.Another factor behind footbalfs global popularity is the creativity and excitement on the field. It is fun enough to attract millions of people. You do not have to be a fan to recognize the skill of professional player-how they

43、use their bodies to pass, score and defend can be amazing to see-or to feel the excitement of a game ending with a surprising twist.Whats more, football has become one of the best ways for people to communicate: it does not require words, but everyone understands it. It breaks down walls and brings

44、people together on and off the field. Take, for example, the famous football game on Christmas Day 1914. World War I had broken out months before, but British and German soldiers put down their guns and played football together-one moment of peace to remember during years of conflict.“Some people be

45、lieve football is a matter of life and death, “said Bill Shankly, thefamous footballer and manager. I can assure you it is much, much more important than that.” This might sound funny, but one only has to think about the Earth to realize that our planet is shaped like a football.Teenagers* fitness i

46、s now a major concern and physical exercise is very important. It reduces stress and improves fitness. Exercise makes your body strong and helps you to keep the right body weight. Sports scientists offer the following advice to teenagers: First, find out your present level of fitness. Then you can d

47、esign a programme that will help you become healthier.There are three levels of fitness that need a change of lifestyle. HOverweightH means that the person gets very little exercise and often has a serious weight problem. nInactiven means that the person does not join in many physical activities, bu

48、t is not seriously overweight. Active refers to people who take part in sports and other physical activities, but do not have a high fitness level.According to experts, overweight teenagers should work out to keep healthy. Ride a bike, play volleyball or basketball for a while, and go for a twenty-m

49、inute walk each day. All these will help to burn calories. Inactive teenagers should do similar activities, but add some bending and stretching exercises, such as push-ups and sit-ups, starting with twenty of each a day. Inactive people can take a little more exercise than overweight people because their bodies are stronger. The same rule is also suitable for active teenagers.Experts also suggest one h